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My Kindle Made Me A B*tch
I have seen many many many people drawing up pros and cons of e-readers versus paper’n'ink books. I have even done it myself. However, now that I have been using it for a couple of months, I realise that everyone has been missing a crucial point: e-readers make you a completely unreasonable so-and-so.
Say, for instance, you want to read My Cousin Rachel. In the past, you would simply have gone to the library and checked it out. But now, you head for the kindle store only to find it is not available. You huff and puff about this. Of course, you STILL COULD GO TO THE LIBRARY, YOUR KINDLE HAS NOT BROKEN YOUR LEGS. But now that oddly seems like too much effort. So you don’t read it.
Or say, that you think ok, well I think I might read Great Expectations instead. You head to the Kindle store. But you notice you have to pay for it! Even though Jane Austen is free, Dickens wants your cash! (Why is this, by the way?) And even though it is eighty six pence; approximately the cost of the packet of biscuits you have scoffed, you bitterly resent this. Of course, you STILL COULD GO TO THE LIBRARY, etc, etc. But you don’t. So you don’t read it.
And then say, you want to read Moonwalking With Einstein. But this is ten whole pounds for the kindle book! When it is only £8.17 for the paperback! (And this is still a pricey paperback, I think.) And you cannot understand this discrepancy! And you fret about it for days and days and days and regularly check back in desperation because THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE! But there isn’t. And eventually you begrudgingly do fork out the tenner, because you actually do really want to read this. And then you wistfully think back to that eighty six pence on Mr Dickens.
You are probable a nicer, less demanding, more patient person than I am. Your kindle has probably enhanced your life without destroying your soul. How do you manage it?
Daphne Du Maurier – Jamaica Inn
Dear Daphne,
I feel like we should be better friends than we are. You are definitely a sister, and you enjoy the wry asides, and you frequently use the word ‘mizzling’. It’s mizzling here today, and I know exactly what you mean.
But you are constantly beating me with the macabre sledgehammer and to be honest, it is a bit tiring. I like my suspense in increments, with pauses for tea and to give the old nerves a break. Jamaica Inn was too relentless for me. You started off emotionally fraught and got more and more and more feverish until I WAS BEING SHRIEKED AT IN CAPITAL LETTERS WITH ALL THE HYSTERIA FOR A HUNDRED PAGES.
I liked Mary Yelland, your main character, very much. She was resourceful and calculating and practical, and never stuck for an idea. I felt you didn’t give her enough credit. Surely she would have noticed that the Reverend was Not All He Seemed? You laid on the clues thick enough. I also didn’t believe that she would have got so mixed up with Jem so quickly, even though you did go on about his graceful hands. Why make her into an independent heroine only to have her magnetised and hypnotised by a rugged horse thief?
Still, I liked the way that you were not afraid to write about general creepiness and the most horrible things you can imagine. I imagine that you raised some eyebrows in 1934. You are a little bit Wuthering Height-y, and a little bit Lord of the Flies-y but you are also scarily original.
Also, I have learned that the song ‘Jamaica Inn’ by Tori Amos is nothing to do with your book. Her song is all twinkly and gentle and even though she wakes up to find the pirates have come, they are no way as bloodthirsty and drunken as your characters.
Lets hang out again soon and see if we get on better.
Lyndsey
